Valentine’s Day is a weird sort of holiday. Either a) it’s pomp-and-circumstancially fabulous because you’re receiving flowers, chocolates, gifts, etc. as quickly as King Midas transformed his possessions into gold; b) you’re single, so it makes you feel like worm-infested dirt (wait, that’s a good thing!) maggot-infested meat or the gunk that clogs the bathtub drain; or c) you’ve got better things to do with your time than be all lovey-dovey and googly-eyed and stuff yourself silly with organic, fair-trade, $7-per-bar raw chocolate (77% cacao content of course).
I’ve always been rather indifferent toward V-Day. Of course, I appreciate the thought behind it, but I firmly believe that, just like Earth Day, we should behave like it’s Valentine’s Day everyday, regularly communicating and demonstrating our love to family, partners, friends, neighbors, and even complete strangers!
As I was walking on campus today, I recalled one of my favorite quotes from T.H. Thompson and John Watson:
“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”
It’s an excellent rule by which to live. What I find most interesting, though, is how unkind we are to ourselves: we are truly our own worst critics.
Like many young women with Type-A personalities, I am extremely self-critical. It’s either all or nothing, perfection or complete and utter failure; instead of praising my successes, I condemn myself for not being good enough. In fact, I’m never good enough, it seems—never smart enough, never pretty enough, never creative enough, never resilient enough, so on and so forth.
When I was in the darkest depths of an eating disorder, of course I believed I was never thin enough, even when I was, to be frank, skeletal. Having since gained 15 pounds, not only am I at a healthy weight, but my self-esteem and self-love have improved substantially. I feared gaining weight would ruin my life—far from. It improved it. For the first time in my life, I felt genuinely beautiful.
That was a huge step in my recovery.
Since then, I have taken many more little steps here and there, and while I still struggle with negative self-talk and ED-related residue, there’s a second voice inside me that is confident and courageous, that encourages me to flaunt my favorite bellbottoms and walk with pride in the unique Goddess that I am, instead of comparing myself to every girl I pass, instead of fermenting in futile jealousy.
I also remember what my hero, Mister Rogers, always told me (and still tells me, since I watch his program to this very day):
So, today, whether you’re celebrating or not, practice a little self-love. Take a bubble bath whilst listening to jazz. Watch that movie you’ve wanted to see for ages. Dance. Go star-gazing. Go on a quiet, reflective walk all by yourself. Cook yourself a fancy meal, and dine by candlelight, or go out to eat at yourself favorite restaurant and order dessert. Open a bottle of champagne for no reason other than your newly found or rediscovered radical self-love! You deserve it! I deserve it! We all deserve it!
You know what else you—and your skin—deserve? A grain salad designed to improve your complexion and electrify your glow!
Triple-A Skincare Salad
Inspired by JĀSÖN’s 5,000 IU Vitamin E Pure Beauty Oil
Serves 4-6
Ingredients
1 cup dry brown rice, cooked and drained
1 cup dry wheat berries, cooked and drained
1 large ripe avocado, chopped into bite-size chunks
½ cup dried apricots, coarsely chopped
1/3 cup whole or chopped almonds
1/3 cup sunflower seeds
¼ cup wheat germ
4 scallions, chopped
2 Tbs. safflower oil
1 Tbs. lemon juice
1 Tbs. lemon zest
2-3 garlic cloves, minced
Salt & pepper, to taste
Directions
- In a small bowl, whisk together oil, juice, zest, and garlic. Set aside.
- Combine remaining ingredients in a larger bowl. Pour dressing over everything, toss gently to combine, and season as desired. Serve chilled or at room temperature.




























